Reptilian mishaps
by Ikisusi
Summary: HIATUS When your lover gets a pet, it will most certainly affect to your life as well... CHACK Rated T for language
1. Mr Zilla

**This story is based on picture I drew awhile ago on deviant art. I'm planning to make this a collection of kind-of-oneshots, revolving around this theme.**

**Story contain male/male relationship, so if you don't like it, turn around and scram. **

**I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or it's characters but Mr. Zilla belongs to me**

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**Reptilian mishaps**

**By Ikisusi**

''Spicer. Explain. Now''

Barely covered growl made red-haired goth look up from pile of metal, circuits and wires yet to even resemble any kind of finished machinery. Wondering just what made his quest so for the lack of better word; pissed, Jack regarded immortal Heylin Lord with confusion.

''umm.. Like, what I'm supposed to explain, Chase?''

Golden eyes glared Jack before gesturing to the source of his disdain. ''_THAT_,'' Chase said, while observing gigantic terrarium in the secluded corner in Jack's workshop. The construction was so large that it could easily contain up to 5 adult humans inside and give them space to move around had it not been filled with plants to give jungle-like feeling in it while UV-lights illuminated plants and large water-container on the bottom.

Jack abandoned his current work and came by warlord who was glaring at about 2-feet-long reptile, staring lazily back at immortal while resting on sturdy branch inside the terrarium. Young genius couldn't help but to grin and opened the glass door, stepping inside and gently lifting scaly creature on his arms and turning back to warlord.

''Isn't he a coolest thing ever!'' Jack proclaimed presenting animal to his lover. ''He's a green iguana, they come from…''

''I know _WHAT_ it is'', Chase interrupted. ''What I want to know is _WHY_ do you have it?''

''_Him_, Chase. Not _it_,'' Jack corrected and earned himself pointed look saying that he should just spill the truth. ''It's… well, mom and dad bought him for me. I guess they got this idea in their heads to make up their constant absence and decided to give me a pet so that, and I quote: _I wouldn't feel lonely in big house and had some company that breathes unlike my robots.''_

''And they gave you an iguana? I believe that usually parents give their children a puppy or other normal pet in such occasion,'' older man said glaring at greenish lizard that seemed to enjoy because Jack had started to scratch back of it's neck. Round eyes hanged only partly open while iguana lounged in black leather-clad arms, long tail hanging and sharp claws resting against it's owner's sleeves.

''…Eh, I might have mentioned having some encounters with reptiles to them over phone…''Jack grinned sheepishly, blushing when look on Chase's face told that man seemed to capture meaning. ''And I reeeaaaallllyyyy haven't never been fan of dogs or any fuzzy things.''

''You never had a pet before and jumped straight to reptilian specie that are probably hardest of all to take care for? A wonderful strategy, Spicer,'' warlord commented.

''Hey, I **know **what I'm doing, Chase!'' albino countered. ''I've gone through a mountain of books and contacted with people who study these guys! Come on, give me some credit here…''

Immortal sighed and stretched his arm to ruffle his consort's red hair. ''My apologies, Jack. I just surprised that you have a pet in your possession when you haven't had much of luck with members of animal kingdom in the past.''

Jack blinked. ''Huh?''

''Shall I remind you about a herd of miniature prehistoric reptiles or certain avian?''

''Gah…'' Jack grimaced. ''You had bring them up… In my defense, Mr. Zilla isn't resurrected from buddle of oil with Shen Gong Wu or magical being in the service of evil animated bean, just a plain ordinary iguana.''

''Fair enou-…wait, _Mr. Zilla?''_

''That's his name!'' Jack exclaimed. ''It would have been such a cliché to name him Godzilla, so I just altered it a bit.''

Chase couldn't help it. He just had to look like teenager had just lost his mind for choose such… idiotic name.

Oblivious his master's look, Jack turned iguana in his arms so he could hold it up to his face and kissed it's snout. ''Beside, he likes that name! Don't you, Mr. Zilla? Yes, you do. You are just most handsome iguana in the world, aren't you?''

Displeased to see _his_ lover acting so affectionately with someone else but him, let alone another reptile, caused warlord's annoyance escalate to fury. Not caring about the fact that his _rival_ was ordinary animal and nothing else, dragon's territorial instincts were flared when that accursed lizard had nerve to lick the tip of Jack's nose, returning it's owner's gestures.

''Aaw! Aren't you just plain awesome! Someone's earned himself a bowl of fresh mangos for a treat!'' Jack grinned and set iguana back to it's branch in terrarium before closing the glass door so it wouldn't wander off.

''Be back in a minute!'' Jack bolted towards the stairs before shouting over his shoulder. ''You two should get to know each other, you'd probably have something in common. You know, being lizards both.''

Albino's laughter lingered in workshop after it's owner's depart, leaving two scaly beings among themselves.

Turning his eyes from his retreating lover, Chase glared with hostility at iguana sitting in terrarium.

''You do realize that there's no room for **two **reptiles in Jack's life, don't you?''

Mr. Zilla bobbed his head and let out a low hiss as an answer.

''Hmh, then a war shall it be.''

**TBC**


	2. Injury

**I still don't own Xiaolin Showdown but Mr. Zilla's mine! Hands off!**

**Thank you for all reviewers!**

**Here's the next piece, enjoy!**

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Injury

''This is your fault!''

''_My _fault?'' Chase scoffed. ''I beg to differ, Spicer. It was _you_ who brought that lizard to place dwelling carnivorous felines, certainly not _me._''

Jack glared at dragon lord. ''They are _your_ warriors and if I'm not wrong they obey _you_! So how the hell that leopard just decided to take a bite out of Mr. Zilla?''

Turning his eyes from immortal, Jack returned to treat the wound on his pet iguana's back. Goth had just a little while ago arrived to visit his lover and, for Chase's displeasure, had decided to take his exotic pet along. Though Chase's warriors knew better than try to attack albino mortal, one of them had tried to turn iguana to a snack, inflicting bleeding wounds from it's bite to reptile's back and base of whip-like tail. Jack had managed to rescue his pet from leopard that had backed away at the same moment when mortal had interfered, to avoid harming it's master's mate.

Alerted by the ruckus, Chase had came to scene, ordering feline to leave. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done but though Jack was glad Mr. Zilla was alive, teenager was angry for what happened. He had brought his lizard along him because his basement workshop was currently been repaired including iguana's terrarium, thanks to bunch of heroic Xiaolin monks.

Jack had managed to win the last Showdown with a gravity-ray he had constructed. Ray was designed to increase the effects of gravitation twice the normal amount to the target. Though effects lasted only a about five minutes, it had been enough for Jack to grab the Fan of Phoenix with the help of his Monkey Staff before Clay, earning tech-lover both the newest Wu and cowboy's Fist of Tebigong.

Monks hadn't taken the defeat easily and just showing how sore loser's they were, had (once again) broken into goth's workshop to take their Wu back. Luckily, Jack had taken a habit of hiding his Shen Gong Wu to different place than usual and monks had left without Wu, leaving only a demolished basement behind.

So Jack ordered his robots to start repairing the damages, again. Self-proclaimed genius himself had decided that it was maybe time have a sleep-over with his lover and because Mr. Zilla's terrarium had been smashed too, he had taken reptile with him, being sure that iguana didn't mind temporary move. But just as he had taken his eyes out of him, Mr. Zilla had terrible meeting with one of Chase's leopards.

''Though they were humans once, my warriors now have predatory instincts. I've ordered them to not attack at _YOU_, Spicer. Your little pet wasn't part of that order,'' Chase answered calmly. Actually he wouldn't have minded if feline had eaten that accursed lizard. Not at all.

''And thanks to that, he almost _died_,'' Jack mumbled, disinfecting iguana's wounds before starting to wrap them up. Thank god he had taken up a habit of having small first aid-kit with him all time…

''It's only an animal, Spicer,'' warlord said before he could stop himself.

That caused Jack jump on his feet from the floor next to his injured pet and turn sharply towards immortal. ''_Only?_'' Jack practically hissed. ''He's not _only_ an animal, Chase!''

Warlord frowned. ''Watch your voice, Spicer.''

''Like the hell I will! Mr. Zilla isn't just any iguana!''

''Yes, it is,'' Chase said eyeing the iguana on the floor behind his consort. ''A plain, normal lizard. I honestly don't understand your fixation to it. Should it die, it won't be hard for you to get a new one.'' Though Chase hoped that his consort wouldn't do it.

''He's my pet! _I LOVE HIM!_'' Jack yelled with his crimson eyes burning. Surely most his anger came from worry for his pet but warlord's words only added fuel to it. ''What the heck's your problem, Chase? Ever since I got him, you've done nothing but frown at him!''

''You cuddle it, babble to it and pamper it. Practically treat it almost as if it was your offspring,'' immortal snarled. ''That kind of behavior and you actually call yourself _evil_, Spicer?''

That made Jack clench his fist while looking at his feet, small body almost shaking.

''I am EVIL, Chase,'' Jack said quietly, refusing to look at older male. ''You have said it yourself…''

''Well, sometimes it seems that I've made a monstrous error by saying it or getting involved with you in a first place.''

Silence reigned the hall for few minutes with neither of men saying anything. Warlord's words involved much more than just a dislike towards iguana. There was jealousy and disappointment, though Jack didn't catch disappointment part of it.

Finally, Jack lifted his head, making Chase see unshed tears in albino's eyes. Had he been any lesser man, warlord would have jerked at hurt and pain visible in them.

Jack held tears at bay. He refused to cry in front of Chase.

''…Fine. You know what, Chase,'' Jack said. ''I'll just leave and take Mr. Zilla with me. We can probably stay with my cousin.''

''Jack…''

''No, Chase. Just… Drop it,'' goth whispered, picking Mr. Zilla carefully up in his arms. ''This way, you don't need to bother with _either_ of us.''

Chase's pride didn't let him go after Jack, he just stared at his retreating consort. After a few minutes, warlord could here distinctive noise of Jack's miniature jet he had used to come here, abandoning his usual heli-pack. Immortal just stared to the point where Jack had standed for a while ago. Spots of iguana's blood marred the shining marble floor.

Chase frowned.

Fine.

If Spicer wanted to act like that…

Warlord would not miss him.

Not at all.

**TBC**


	3. Profound intercommunication

**New chapter! Everyone, cheer!**

**You know the disclaimer**

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Profound intercommunication

''Screw that god damned dragon! Who needs him?!''

It had been three weeks since Jack's fight with Chase at immortal's palace and they hadn't talked since then. Due to his words, Jack had stayed couple nights with his cousin's place but since an army of Jackbots were quite fast when it came to rebuilding tech-lover's workshop, he had been able to get back to work within four days since monks had demolished the place.

Though Jack couldn't get any work done because of his lack of motivation. Teenager was thinking about his last ''conversation'' with Heylin lord and it really was taking its toll. Had Jack still been like he was when they first met, he would have probably swollen what little pride he had and practically crawled to warlord for begging forgiveness for ever speaking against the man. Too bad that maturing and spending time with Chase had helped him to develop a spine and he really wasn't okay with an idea of giving in anymore.

So instead of crawling, hurt and anger had taken hold of young genius. Why did Chase so hate the fact Jack cared for his pet iguana? Man himself cared for his cat warriors, though he actually didn't Eskimo kiss them or hug them… And why the hell did he had to bring out Jack's devotion to all things evil? Ok, so maybe he wasn't kicking-puppies-on-the-streets-for-shits-and-giggles type of evil or traditional Heylin, but he certainly was above just plain mean or wicked, thank you very much!

Just the thought of him being type of Xiaolin good guy made him nauseous. Really, that good side of him or that alternate timeline Good-Jack… Damn, they gave him more creeps than Wuya phasing through him as a ghost!

After getting past the hurt, out came the anger. If Chase didn't even want him as an apprentice then guy could go to hell! Really, Jack was just okay by himself. No need for overbearing, control-obsessed dragon-man with a pole stuck up in their backside! He could handle this evil-thing by himself, completely himself…

''Oh who am I kidding?'' Jack sighed thinking bitterly, sitting on the floor of his workshop, leaning against the wall near Mr. Zilla's terrarium. Its glass door as open so iguana could crawl in and out as much as he liked. Jack looked at lizard, not really paying attention its business though. ''Sure I've learned much since getting together with Chase but I'm still far from being a proper Heylin…''

It was then that one of Jackbots hovered in front of its creator. _*I apologies for interrupting you, Sir, but it would seem that one of your Shen Gong Wu was left behind before transporting them to new storage.*_

''What?!'' Jack shouted. ''You mean there was a Wu just lying around here, waiting for monks to snatch it up?! How can you guys missed it?!''

_*By your instructions, we were to prevent Xiaolin monks for claiming any important or potentially lethal Shen Gong Wu. There is no such data concerning this particular Shen Gong Wu, Sir.*_

Groaning, tech-lover waved his hand, indicating robot to just hand over whatever Wu was in question. Robot extended its clawed appendage and dropped the item to it's creator before retreating to other duties.

Investigating the given Wu, Jack frowned. ''The Tongue of Saiping? Okay, maybe this doesn't list as lethal Wu…''

But it was useful for its own right. Like the time Chase had used it to call that army of green monkeys…

An idea struck young mechanic and he caste quick look to his left, noticing iguana peering at his owner and item at his grasp with curiosity.

''Oh what hell, why not,'' Jack snorted before turning towards the reptile. ''The Tongue of Saiping!''

Mr. Zilla cocked its head in confusion: just what his owner was doing with that odd thing? ''Humans are so weird…''

''Why thank you very much,'' Jack grinned when lizard practically jumped.

''_O que?!_ You understood what I said?!''

''Yeah, with this baby here,'' Jack answered with waving the Wu. ''It makes speaking to animals possible for us humans.''

''And I thought it was just piece of wood…'' iguana said while crawling closer to take a sniff at object. ''Should have known better, with all weird things I've seen so far.''

Jack took notice of scarred tissue at lizards back. ''Say, your back or tail doesn't hurt anymore?''

''Oh, them? _Não, estou bem._''

It was good Jack was fluent at many languages since it would seem his pet had a habit to transfer his speech to Portuguese. Hmh, must be because of his origins…

''So, why are you using this thing? You never have before.''

''Nah, just thought about it,'' Jack shrugged. ''And between you and me, I could really use some company at the moment. At least one who's not a robot.''

Iguana looked at several machines floating around the basement. ''I've never understood why you humans need non-breathing things.''

''Non-breathing things?''

''_Sim_, at least that's what _a minha família_ calls them.''

''Fair enough,'' Jack snorted. ''_Adivinho que os seres humanos são somente preguiçosos._''

Mr. Zilla glared at albino human. ''You are aware that your accent is seriously lacking?''

''Great, grammar feedback from an iguana…''

Said iguana scoffed and lay down on the ground next to Jack's thigh, yawning widely. ''If you're in need of company, why not going to your mate?''

''M-my WHAT?!'' Jack yelled.

''Your mate,'' small reptile replied. ''_Sabe,_ the large and territorial one. Always glaring around like someone stole his favorite sleeping branch.''

''Just hold it,'' Jack answered, ignoring animal's peculiar reference to warlord. ''Chase and I are not… We're not mates!''

''Please, anyone can see that you are,'' iguana retorted. ''You really should enjoy while it lasts, you know.''

''We are not mates!'' Jack shot back. ''We are master and apprentice plus lovers!''

''Human terms,'' Mr. Zilla said. ''You court each other time to time and other things. In reptilian terms, you're mates. _Trate com ele._''

''Oh seriously…'' albino huffed; face flaming red like his hair. To be called as mates sounded more like they were married or something, Then again Chase was a reptile…''Hey, what did you mean with, I really should enjoy while it lasts?''

''Well, you're going to leave each other after your mating,'' iguana answered lazily. ''Males never stay around long enough for mates to lay their eggs. ''

''The hell?!''

Reptile looked up at human. ''You do know what mating is, _não o faça_? Male impregnates female…''

''I know what the bloody mating is,'' Jack interrupted. ''You're speaking of lizards now. Which we are not.''

''He is. Rather _esquisito_ who looks like a human but his scent is definitely one of my kind. Though I don't understand how it would work with you being human male but he's probably found way around it.''

''Ok, firstly: Chase is not just any reptile. He's a dragon who was originally human,'' Jack said ignoring iguana's confused look. ''Secondly: human relationships don't go same way as lizard ones. We don't always find a ''mate'' for getting offspring and especially not in our case. Human males can't have babies, no matter if your partner is an immortal dragon.''

Silence reigned between mechanic and reptile for a moment while Jack was taking deep breaths to calm himself. Mr. Zilla on the other hand seemed to ponder this weird explanation.

''So, you two are mates but with no desire for hatchlings?''

''Yeah, you could say that. Definitely no hatchlings.''

_''Como estranho…''_ Mr. Zilla mumbled. ''Still, why not going to him?''

At that Jack sighed. ''We… kinda had a fight. And haven't spoken for weeks…''

''A fight? So what, fights are normal even with us.''

''I guess you're thinking of physical brawl,'' Jack said. ''You remember when we were at Chase's place? The day you got hurt?''

''Yes, I do,'' iguana let out angry hiss. ''Had I not been surprised, that _felino andado pela pulga_ would have felt what it is like to be hit by my tail.''

At that comment, Jack let out small dry laughter. ''That I would have loved to see.''

He could swear that iguana grinned back. _''Talvez algum outro tempo.''_

''I'll hold you up for that,'' Jack grinned before returning to the matter at hand. ''Any way, Chase and I had a verbal argument about what happened and it kinda escalated from that.''

Iguana stayed silent, encouraging young human to continue.

''I was angry about the fact that Chase didn't seem to care that you got hurt and scolded me about pampering you and stuff like that… It went to topic that would take long to explain but I could say that Chase seems to regret for us being together.''

''Ah, you think he doesn't want you as his mate anymore?'' reptile concluded, with Jack nodding. Iguana thought for moment, thinking about larger reptile and his behavior before letting out a snort-like sound. ''_Não_, that is not what it is about.''

''How do you know it?'' Jack said holding his legs against leather-clad chest.

''Because we are both reptilian males,'' lizard explained. ''Since the first time we met, he would seem to take me as rival concerning you.''

''Me?''

''You remember that I called him territorial, _certo_? It is just that, your mate feels that I'm intruding his territory and taking his mate,'' iguana assured. ''It's not like us to withstand other males around. But since you're human and male, I don't really know why my presence bothers him so much.''

Taking in this information, Jack thought about this. So, Chase was jealous about Mr. Zilla?! Groaning, Jack dropped his head so his forehead rested against his knees. Damn it, why couldn't that big bag of scales just say so?! No, he had kept that fucking pride of his!

''Are you alright?''

Lifting his head, albino looked at reptile gazing at him. ''Yeah, I'm fine. Guess I should go and set things right between us.''

''If that's what you guys do, then go. Just don't bring that _besta danada_ with you when you come back.''

Goth laughed. ''No worriers, I won't.''

Albino got up from floor and lifted iguana from the floor, carrying it back to terrarium. Lizard was probably starting to get cold while staying at floor.

''Mmm, _obrigado_,'' iguana said when Jack lifted him at his favorite branch to feel warm light better.

''No problem,'' goth answered before showing the Wu again. ''I'm gonna deactivate this thing, so we can't talk anymore but we could do this again some other time.''

_''Seria bonito._ You're rather good company, at least for a member of different specie.''

''Could same say about you, Mr. Zilla.''

At that, iguana seemed to frown. ''Ah, _sobre isto…_ Could you perhaps little change that name?''

''Wha-! I thought you liked it!''

''I do. Well, mostly. I'm alright with 'Zilla' but that ''Mr.'' really doesn't sound very appealing…''

''Okay, fine. I drop that,'' Jack gave in. ''So just Zilla?''

_''Sim, é perfeito.''_

''Then I'll be going,'' Jack said and deactivated Wu before giving it to Jackbot, telling them this time to put it with rest in safe place and picking up his heli-pack.

''See ya later, Zilla!'' Albino shouted before leaving basement, leaving robots working and one reptile warming up in artificial light.

_Boa sorte, Jack._

**TBC**

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**This one took time and still it feel's rather stupid one.**

**I got inspiration for conversation between Jack and Mr. Zilla… oops; I mean Zilla from story A chat with a Cat by CrystallicSky. She is rather great influence for me.**

**Zilla speaks Portuguese since iguanas come from Central and South America and there is great chance that his ancestors are from Portuguese-speaking area. And if you have read the first Harry Potter book you'll remember the snake from the zoo at the beginning? That too inspired the idea of Zilla speaking portuguese.**

**I don't know language so all words and phrases are translated from English with online translator, so errors are possible. If anyone knows correct words or phrases, feel free to tell me. This is probably not the last time we'll ''hear'' about him, but he stays silent for awhile. Though he's got some serious attitude which will be revealed very soon...**

**And why changing his name to Zilla? Well, honestly… I got annoyed for always writing Mr. Zilla XD**

**I'm probably leaving the make up *cough*make out*cough* chapter unwritten since Zilla wouldn't appear on it and these stories are about him mostly. With just not-so-little-bit of Chack.**

**And yes, Jack's life is so weird that he would get relationship help from lizard and nearly reptilian-version of ''where babies come from''!**

**Reviews are always welcome!**

**Translations:**

**o que** = what

**não, estou bem**= no, I'm well

**sim** = yes

**a minha família** = my family

**adivinho que os seres humanos são somente preguiçosos** = guess humans are just lazy

**sabe** = you know

**trate com ele** = deal with it

**não o faça** = don't you

**esquisito** = weird

**como estranho** = how odd

**felino andado pela pulga** = flea-ridden feline

**talvez algum outro tempo** = maybe some other time

**não**= ei

**certo** = right

**besta danada** = damned beast

**obrigado** = thank you

**seria bonito** = it would be nice

**sobre isto** = about that

**sim, é perfeito** =yes, it's fine

**boa sorte** = good luck


End file.
